I would like to discuss the concepts of defensive and supportive behaviors. I think it is important to note both concepts and be able to differentiate between the two. These concepts have specific differences. Defensive behaviors incorporate superiority, control, and the use of strategies. On the other hand, supportive behavior uses equity, empathy, and is nonjudgmental. Defensive behavior can create an unbalanced power relationship. A person engaging in defensive behavior may try to control the other person they are in a relationship. They do this by being strategic in the way they speak to the other person or within their actions. This person may act this way due to their own insecurities. The playing field is more level in a relationship with someone who engages in supportive behaviors. This person has empathy for other people. A person who is empathetic means they are able to place themselves in another person’s place. Being in a relationship with someone who is supportive and will respect you is healthier than being in a relationship with someone who engages in defensive behaviors.
I aprreciated how you gave an explanation of empathy, most people just say the word hoping the listener figures out what that ambiougous, somewhat fluffy word really means. Even knowing it means to put yourself in the others position does not make it easier though. For example, I find it very difficult to understand where a lot of young people are coming from. I try to remember when I was that young, but that was a long time ago and some of the issues the kids deal with now are different. It is hard when you want to help them learn from mistakes but the rules of youth won't let you share from your experiences (you couldn't possibly understand).
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