Unbalanced Power

Being in a relationship that has unbalanced power is unhealthy. A relationship that has an unequal amount of power between people occurs when one person dominates while the other person/people are submissive. I would guess that most people given the choice would rather be the person in power and not the one being controlled. But I think being the one with all of the power can, at times, be just as stressful as being the submissive one. The book gives an example of a group with one dominate member that tried to call all of the shots. The other group members eventually stopped showing up to meetings because they didn't want to be subjected to her negative behavior and comments. As a result the dominate member had to do the work herself. Eventually she realized she couldn't complete everything on her own so she had to tone down her communication style. I don't like the feeling of being in relationships with power unbalances. Whether I am the one holding the power or the submissive one. I find personal, work, and school relationships to be more enjoyable if all parties involved are on a level playing field. Having all the power can feel good especially if the position was hard earned, like within a company. But I think that showing you can be a part of the group helps morale. In contrast, being powerless can feel pretty lonely and demeaning. It may cause resentment toward the power holder.