Friday, February 10, 2012
Week 3, Post 2
In my personal opinion I don't think it is ever okay to punish a child using verbal or nonverbal aggression. I think this is stepping over the boundaries of parental authority. I grew up in a household where I never feared that either of my parents would lash out a me with verbal or nonverbal aggression. I think that if they had it would have completely changed the dynamic of our relationships, and possibly who I am as a person. I wouldn't want my child to fear me. I would rather them feel like they could talk openly with me about their feelings and things that are going on in their lives. I believe that teaching children to deal with their thoughts and actions in non aggressive ways can help them deal with people and situations effectively. I do think that it is important to teach children to make good decisions and to act appropriately. I believe that all of this begins when the children are young. Maybe teaching them from a young age how to act appropriate allows for the behavior to be second nature instead of having to unlearn poor behavior when they are older. I am not a parent so I guess all of this is easy for me to say. I know that some kids are stubborn and may need to be disciplined, but not discipline that comes in the form of verbal or nonverbal aggression. When I think of appropriate disciplines I think time of outs or taking away something that they really like until their behavior changes. One thing I have learned from watching other people with their children is not to always give in and give them their way especially when they act out when they don't get what they want. I think this teaches them that if they act out then they will accomplish their goal and get what they want. I think that we should teach our children by leading as good examples.
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It is nice to hear that there are still families and parents that have never instilled fear onto a child. I know many people, including myself, who were never physically abused, but feared one or both of their parents due to verbal abuse. My father was the contributor in the verbal abuse department. It was not always directed at us, but at my mother who made my sister and I fear him.
ReplyDeleteSometimes raising one’s voice at a child to get a point or lesson across may be okay; however, yelling, screaming, and even swearing at a child is verbal abuse. If a parent uses abuse, I agree that giving in and not keeping your punishment in tact is important. Children are smart and learn at a young age what they can and will get away with. The parents who abuse children should look at their parenting methods, and take into consideration that maybe what they have done was not the best parenting.
I also wrote in my post that my parents were never abusive to me and if they ever were, our relationship would be completely different than it is now. Whether it is verbal, mental, or physical abuse, it still leaves a negative effect on children. It is never okay to instill fear into your children. There are so many effective ways to discipline a child other than abusive punishments. My boyfriend was hit as a child and says that he has a fantastic relationship with his parents and would probably spank his children under certain circumstances. I do not agree with this, but I was also never in this type of environment so I do not really see where he is coming from. He explains that there is a difference between being abusive and spanking a child for discipline. I do not agree with this method of punishment but I find it interesting that he was hit/spanked as a child and still finds it to be an acceptable punishment.
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