Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Week 3, Post 1
I thought that chapter 3 was interesting and insightful. While reading this chapter I gave a lot of thought to my own conflict style and whether or not I handle conflict in an effective manner. I would categorize myself as an other-centered nonassertive communicator when dealing with conflicts in my life. Having said that, if I am giving advise to a friend I would tell them that they should be honest and open about their ideas/opinions/feelings because theirs matters just as much as the other person's. Should I be taking my own advise, probably. For me that is easier said than done. I have a tendency to accommodate others before myself in order to avoid any conflict that could arise from our difference in opinions. About 90% of the time this is how I deal with conflicts in my life. Since this is how I've always been I think that people sort of expect me to function this way, so in a way yes I think there are expectations for my behavior. For me this chapter has really been helpful because I don't like that I am nonassertive which sometimes causes me to sacrifice my own ideas/opinions/feelings. I would like to be more of a relationship-centered assertive communicator in the future. As I take more communication courses I think that I become a more effective communicator and grow as a person as well.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Marty,
ReplyDeleteGreat posting!
I think that we all have a tendency towards non-assertiveness and passivity. Being assertive requires much more effort, and has us taking a much larger social risk. When we’re in mixed-company, it can be difficult to gauge whats appropriate and whats over the line. The kind of behavior that will get you noticed at bar, could be the sort of thing which gets you fired from your job, for example.
Will this person get offend? Will this make me seem too opinionated or obnoxious? What if this harms the relationship?
I can sympathize with where your coming from. Assertiveness can be challenging for many people, however, at least from my own experiences, people will respect you more for it. So long as you handle the issue appropriately, maintaining a relationship-centered orientation.
-Ben
I cannot personally identify with your accommodating conflict orientation but I have a close friend that also accommodates much of the time. Ironically, her name is Marty! I have watched her progress over the years as she has learned to speak her mind in conflict scenarios. It has been a struggle for her but, as she puts it, her relationships have greatly improved because of her expanded ability to communicate in conflict situations. I hope this gives you encouragement. In addition, there is one positive response that I have noticed that people who accommodate get from others. If you rarely speak your mind, when you do, everyone notices because it is so out of character, and they really listen!
ReplyDeleteWords 119 wk 3/post 3